Bittersweet Life...

Friday, January 28, 2005

im sick of being treated this way. i cant believe tt my mum dun trust me. im almost 17, in a matter of 3 days. yeah, i noe tt being 17 doesnt permit to do anything i want or run down any regulations. but the thing tt im so fucked up bout is tt i havent own any trust frm my parents, esp my mum. im supposed to go with ema, but she didnt allow. fine. i asked y. no ans frm her. tt's so unfair. she's doin sth w/o having a reason. when i told her tt she didnt allow me to go out due to her not trusting me, she went slightly dumb. bullseye! i cant believe it. i tot i was gaining her trust all this while... she said tt she does trusts me, coz if it's otherwise, she wouldnt let me go to movies. woah... big deal goin to the movies. and she told me tt she'll be sending me to cest la vie, when a few days back she said i could go on my own. now, tt's no one i can trust under this roof.

im goin crazy. and i mean it. i used to be a jovial, sad and angry girl. now, all i do is frown and put up fake laughters and smiles. i feel so bad doin it. but, they push me to doin so. i dun feel like celebratin the 17th yr of my life on sunday during dinner. i dun have the mood anymore. my life is upside down. i can talk to no one in this house when im troubled. i cant stand them nagging at me anymore, trying to prove me wrong. im an unstable girl, emotionally... an unpredictable time bomb.... flare up at one time, or burst into tears silently another time. no more smiles after the tears or anger. never. i feel myself going insane. i feel myself becoming hostile to ppl. and it's unfair.

Smashed into pieces at 1/28/2005 02:02:00 PM